He often had some of his most critical insights whilst on the toilet.
(François-Léon Benouville, 1840s)
Q:I was recently banned from chatroulette, despite being in the 0th percentile of penis exposure for the site. How can I convince them to let me back in, or at least find a new outlet to impersonate Justin Bieber?
Consider the story of scholar Giordano Bruno. Exiled by the Inquisition in 1576, he found patrons throughout Europe, but always enraged them over trivial matters or was banned for his violent quarrels. He returned to Venice because he had nowhere else to go, and was burned at the stake in 1600.
Giordano Bruno
Many believe Bruno was exiled for his Copernicanism, but this was not even considered heresy until 1664. While we know of him today because of his belief in extraterrestrial life, he actually knew very little about astronomy, and his unlikability caused his downfall.
We suggest you take Bruno’s experience to heart: while you may consider your Bieber impersonations to be a capital truth, you must accept that it is your own personality that is in great need of improvement.
—Shallow Sage
His signature ran for several pages, much to the annoyance of his correspondents.
(Piero di Cosimo, 1480)
Q:I have quite a problem with internet forums: it's very hard to find anyone intelligent enough to agree with me. What do you suggest?
In Ancient Rome, the citizens allowed to participate in the debates of the Forum were limited. Women, for example, were not allowed, nor were Romans of lower classes. The most objectionable presence in the Forum would have been those unfortunate souls forced to shelter beneath bridges, known as trolls.
Forum of Ancient Rome
In our internet forums today, however, it is difficult to keep out riffraff, as a quick glance at the comments section of ABC News immediately makes clear.
If you cannot build your own private forum, then you must accept the difficult fact that you cannot educate these morons online. As Plato noted, Opinion derives from the shifting world of Sensation, a world you cannot yet convey by internet post. Knowledge itself cannot be recalled without the experience of the body.
—Shallow Sage
He spent long hours with his ball, poring over his numbers.
(Feti, 1610s)
It had always been such a tearjerker for him.
(Ghirlandaio, 1482)
He only collected the coolest books.
(Eeckhout, 1671)






