It was such a pain to roll the dumpster back up the driveway every week.
(William Hogarth, 1743)
It was too late. He’d already rubbed it into the fabric.
(Josef Franz Danhauser, 1831)
He was not the first to notice.
(Bonifacio Veronese, 1540s)
Probably just his “male pattern refrigerator blindness” acting up again.
(Carl Friedrich Zimmerman, c.1810)
Such time-saving tips are useful even today.
(Honoré Daumier, 1860-63)
It’s amazing what one can find in their attic.
(Alexandre-Évariste Fragonard, 1811)
She had never realized until now what great water she was missing.
(Poussin, 1637-39)
They always had conflict in the kitchen.
(Beuckelaer, c 1550s)
They loved the scenes on their cups even more than the rum punch that filled them.
(Konrad Witz, 1435)
Q:I don't want to put up Christmas lights this year, but my wife says that makes me a scrooge. I just think they are too much trouble for such a short period of time. What should I do?
Anonymous
Many of our modern evergreen Christmas decorations originated in Roman times during the feast of Saturnalia, which lasted from December 17-23. That was considered quite a long period of time for a nonstop celebration, and is still quite a good party today. European Pagans had a similar decorating and feasting practice to celebrate the winter solstice, keeping the party going for the 12-day burning of the yule log. And the idea of cutting down a live tree to bring inside was part of an ancient Middle Eastern winter celebration.
Saturnalia, by Sophistes
According to the prophet Jeremiah, “heathen” would decorate trees and branches with precious metals at this time of the year. Indeed, Tertullian condemned early Christians for doing so around 200AD; the Puritans considered such decoration a “desecration” of the sacred event in their time, and it was banned in Scotland and parts of America; and when a Pastor Swann of Ohio decorated a tree in church as recently as 1851, he was condemned and threatened by his parishioners.
So if it is Christmas you celebrate, you may take heart in the fact that there is no Judeo-Christian religious basis for the decorations. However, we suggest you reconsider your appreciation: putting them up has kicked off a week-long party in a range of cultures for thousands of years. Take your place in history: string up some evergreen and lights, raise your glass and enjoy it.
—Shallow Sage
Near-wisdom from the ages.
Because people never change.
