Q:I was recently banned from chatroulette, despite being in the 0th percentile of penis exposure for the site. How can I convince them to let me back in, or at least find a new outlet to impersonate Justin Bieber?
Anonymous
Consider the story of scholar Giordano Bruno. Exiled by the Inquisition in 1576, he found patrons throughout Europe, but always enraged them over trivial matters or was banned for his violent quarrels. He returned to Venice because he had nowhere else to go, and was burned at the stake in 1600.
Giordano Bruno
Many believe Bruno was exiled for his Copernicanism, but this was not even considered heresy until 1664. While we know of him today because of his belief in extraterrestrial life, he actually knew very little about astronomy, and his unlikability caused his downfall.
We suggest you take Bruno’s experience to heart: while you may consider your Bieber impersonations to be a capital truth, you must accept that it is your own personality that is in great need of improvement.
—Shallow Sage
Near-wisdom from the ages.
Because people never change.
